Fragments Of My Memories

Expectations? I think not.

2010-02-21T16:02:00.002+08:00

Quoted from Shiqa and my conversation earlier today, "Everybody has expectations, it just depends on how high they are."

I mean, its not our faults we feel emotions like sad, angry, happy and what not, Tuhan yang menentukannye.
It shows how powerful Tuhan is.
I accept that.
Still, itu bukan salah Tuhan.
Itu salah aku, kenape aku marah2?
Aku should just chill.
So yeah.
Chill eh people.
Its not the end of the world, yet.

Pics for From then till now.

2010-02-15T01:01:00.002+08:00

From then till now.

2010-02-15T00:22:00.006+08:00

UPDATE. Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. (:

It was so sweet when on 9 February, my peeps from 10A03 bought Joey & I presents and cake!!!
This is the FIRST time any friends of mine bought me cake to celebrate my birthday!

Like, for example, some people FORGOT my birthday.
Honestly eh, I don't even know if they FORGOT or COULDN'T CARE LESS.
Do you feel the pain when you put in tons of effort for someone's birthday but they end up completely forgetting about yours?
Yeah thats how I feel.
Nonetheless, it somehow doesn't bother me much, because I have friends who actually find it worth their time, money and efforts worth it to celebrate my birthday.
I actually feel cared for.
Even though I met 10A03 for like less than a month, I feel like I've known them for a long time.

Even my best friend turned boyfriend turned ex-boyfriend turned enemy turned friends again wished me! God! Thank you R!

You know what!!!
I love JJC Orientation Camp!
It was extremely fun!
I love my OGLS, Sharifah & PC!
The camp was fun.
I can't describe it or rather I'm lazy to do so, but it will always remain in my memories.

What else?
Oh and! My class boys are damn sweet!
They bought all the girls roses to celebrate V'day! Sweet!

12 February I went out with Zhi Cheng, Shira, Shu, Hilmi and saw Diana, Aziziah, Huda, Farah and Umirah.
We watched -I Hate V'day-.

13 February I watched -V'day- with Shiqah and Bibi.
I love Taylor Luatner and Taylor Swift!!!
I also went SWENSENS with family!!!
(The guy working there named Fauzi recognised me as the girl who worked at F&O before! xD)

What else?
Hmm... This is today.
Oh on 14 February,
I spent my day with Farhan, Haikal, Istaman and Syed.
I listened to them play guitar and sing (xD).
We then had dinner at kfc.
After go near gekpo blocks where we sat around.
Haikal hurried home to pay for pizza. Haha.
Had fuuuuuun.

Kay lor that is all.
Will try to update regularly.

Loves! (:

In Front Of You

2010-02-02T21:18:00.003+08:00

In front of you,
I act silly
and afraid.

In front of you,
I stutter
and can't speak straight.

In front of you,
I learnt patience
and feel great.

Only with you,
do I feel shy
and happy.

It is with you,
I learnt what is love
and feeling angry.

When I'm with you,
I feel sad
and crazy.

Because in you,
I've fallen madly
and deeply.

(Without you,
I feel lonely and empty.

But without you,
is how my life should be.)

IHY but IMY too. :/

:D

2010-02-02T21:08:00.001+08:00

I Need Time.
Lots Of Time.
Time Please!

Ehq, Hi.

2010-02-02T21:06:00.004+08:00

Hihihihi!

Idk why, but I feel like others have such wonderful lives but not me!
How come ah?

I see people they have perfect face, perfect body, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect smile, perfect personality that blends well with others, but I'm very imperfect.
I don't fit into any categories.
Basically, I feel like an outcast. :(

Today I missed school because I overslept. Sad oi.
Tomorrow will wake up early as possible.

i'm BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-01T16:23:00.002+08:00

Hello hello!
I'm finally back to do some blogging.
I won't be very active though.
Well, what do you expect, I'm lazy.

Ok so, to update my O Level results which was the top priority in my life.

Results:
English - A1
Literature in English (Pure Lit) - A1
Malay - A1
Science (Chemistry/Biology) - A1
Combined Humanities - B3
Art - B4
Mathematics - C6

L1R4 : 10
L1R5 : 13-2 = 11

I know if you first saw the upper part you'll be like, WOW THIS GIRL IS AMAZING!, but SADLY, my maths was a total bummer.
C6 leh for goodness sake.
I could've gotten better results if not for maths.
Plus, my combined humans I thought I could at least managae an A2, but I'm really disappointed lah.
What about Art? I wasted my time the whole of sec 4 year to score a mere B4. Tsk3.

Still, I'm quite pleased lah.
I managed into JC.
JJC. Jurong Junior College.
I'm happy but not too sure if I can handle the stress!
Already next year I have my A levels. Die.
People in my school said I don't look like JC student but more like Poly student.
Maybe I don't look clever or smart enought Pathetic me huh? -_-
I've started school whule my friends are working or relaxing. :/
Just hope I do well.

Oh well, resolutions for 2010 :
1) GET THEM BOTH OUT OF MY LIFE.
2) Start a new life.
3) Be happy because being miserable... Well, nobody cares for me much anyway, so might as well be happy!
4) Pass and do well in JC and be very prepared for A levels.
5) Be true to myself and face the world confidently.

I miss my friends !!!!!!!!!!!
I kinda miss secondary school life !!!!!!!!!!!

I'm quite lonely in JC!
Everybody has their own cliques.
I'm stuck.
I do have new friends, but I'm still lonely.
:(
Nvm, having camp soon and allocation of my class will be decided.
Hope I have good new friends!

Peace!

12/9/09 & 13/9/09

2009-11-14T00:03:00.008+08:00

12/9/09 :
I went to school for art interview yang merepek lah sangat2.

Then I go makan shiok with Mummy and ate nasi ayam penyet.

After that I went to meet Zhi Cheng and Darius together with Bibi.

Double date katekan.

Hohoho!

It was sooo much fun watching Jennifer's Body.

Me & Bibi covered our faces with jacket.

Zhi Cheng seems excited.

Darius... Well, he seems to go to the toilet often.

Haha.

We took pictures and walked2.

On the way home we terserempak with Daniaty, Amalina and Irni.

In the mrt, I was talking with Darius.

Talked about k-box and wild2 wet and Japan and China which was kinda random. Haha!

Me: Darius, if go k-box, go in small groups or with alot of people better?

Darius: In small groups better. If not we get to sing a little. Why? You want ask your friends?

Me: Haha no..

Darius: You got alot of friends right.. Anytime call they can come from Jurong to Changi.

xDDD

Jalan2 with Bibi at Jp and went home.

Chatted on the phone with Kiki and Shiqah till 4am!!! xD

13/9/09:

Today, I changed my hairstyle :/

The place was sh*t and made my hair not nice.

My mom said it wasn't worth it as there isn't much difference.

Disappointed!!!

Grad night how??? :'(

My plans are all in ruins.

Damn sad.

Went to the national library to... take pics... Aha!

Then went to the bugis whats the mall called.

Jalan2 to look at dresses all.

Took pictures.

I got pics with Pikachu! xDDD

Made way to SP for Kaleidorama.

Watched performances.

Saw cute guys. (Oh you know who!)

O-m-g!!!

The most happiest moment that day was when...

Jengjengjeng...

Tak leh bilang! ;P

But I got nice pics!!!

I miss my classmates all!

Some were there and I sat with them.

Kecoh uh time the performances.

Kiki and I sing Doraemon song.

Huhuhu.

Mr Namdi cute uhh.

Ate at KFC and went home.

Nabeh punye irritating bapak.

Bising!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mcm puki!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sebab tu aku benci die!!!!!!!!!!!

Irrits siol!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ruin my mood over trivial matter.

Benci benci benci!!!!!!!!!!

I hate him!!!!!!!!!!!!

K tu saje. (Tenga bad mood ni.)

Guys, want picutres, inform me to be online at MSN or something so I can send you.

Easier. Banyak nah lah nk upload. Malas :/

!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-12T10:12:00.002+08:00

Oh My Gosh!
I'm soooo happy!
Becauseeeeeeeeeeee...
O LEVEL HAS OFFICIALLY ENDED.

However!

I'm still heartbroken.
& I tell you people,
there is no way my heart can heal.
Not at this rate,
not when I keep listening to f*cking sad songs just to reminince about my f*cking life.

Anw ytd went swimming!
Gerek luh sangat2.
But I can't swim -_-!
So I just walked around in the water. ;D

Last day of school ):
Means I can never see him ever again.
I almost cried.
Haish.
Oh, I hate that I love you so.

What I wish for...
-Pass O lvl with flying colours so I can get to media & communication.
If cannot, then I will find for other alternatives.

-Be taller.

-Have nobody hate me.

-Have many friends.

-That he & I will not be nemesis any longer.

-Safety & happiness of family.

Woots!
Insya'Allah ni sume dikabulkan ehh.

Ytd slept at 4am. -_-!
Met SMS at 7-11 near my house.
He said his friend thought I was 18.
Wow! But SMS say he think I look young. Haha!

I chatchatchat with Mann, Kiki, Eka& Shiqah.
Kite giler oii.
Tapi best!

Ytd!!!
Kene screen.
Polisi mrepek lah.
Nothing better to do. -_-!
It was my first time.
I feel exposed to the real world.
Lol. -_-!

Today Mdm Sim Siok Siok force me to come for some silly f*cking Art interview.
Its stupid.
That time tak jadi.
Waste my f*cking time where I could've used to study.
F*ck it lah.

Now I'm off to school. -_-!
I hate it cause I'm supposed to be sleeping till 2pm!!!

I think later I will be going out with my Brother, Bibi & D!
Maybe lah.
Ain't sure about it.
Well, see how.
Tatata!

Latest.

2009-10-28T19:16:00.000+08:00

Heyheyhey!!!

O levels have officially started.
It started off in a bad way.
I was badly broken, I had lots on my mind, I didn't prepare enough.
Yeah, all that.

English and Maths I don't know what to say laaa.
There's nothing.
I can't predict.
I have a feeling I did badly.
Haish.

You know...
No matter what people say, I don't hate HIM!
I still love him!
I just can't hate him.
He means so much to me.
Haish.
Confirm he hates me.
That, I know.
Well, I can only hope he's ok...

Friiiiiiiday~

2009-10-23T23:35:00.003+08:00

Heeeeey!

Today is Friday! Supposed to have no school, but Art students confirm have extra class.

I did art. Came in and was frustrated.
Apparently someone just can't seem to stop bothering me.
Ugh I'm getting to annoyed that love is turning to hatred.

You know I saw this quote somewhere:
"The opposite of love isn't hate, its indifference. If you hate someone, it means you still care."

Well, not all quotes are true right?
Depends on the situation la.

Anyway, I went to the library with Sheela and met Shazana for a while.
Talk3.
She say got KK!
But I didn't see him! Alaaaaa!

I then saw Wani and talked to her.
Wow, I got news that I'd never thought I'd hear.
So, who scrap who?
This is what happens if you don't get your information right.
You say this and that, in the end kan malu sendiri.

Today tuition was sooooooooooooooooo fun!
We talked2!

The class was having conversation about leaving school was a sad thing, then...

Saienah: Haiz, I just broke up. So sad.
Guo Wei: Oh you mean the guy you skipped tuition for just to have dinner with him?
Saienah: Eh how you know? Who told you? Karthik? Pinxuan? Ming Jian?

In the end sape, Bibi lupenye!

Guo Wei: You broke up with him for me right?
Saienah: Yeah I sacrificed him for you you know!

When everyone was there.

Guo Wei: Hey guys Saienah left her boyfriend for me.
Ming Jian: *Chinese word*
Saienah: What he say?
Guo Wei: He said you stupid.
Saienah: What!? Why?
Ming Jian: No lah where I got say.
Saienah: Pinxuan what he say?
Pinxuan: Yah he say you stupid.

Lol. Argue2 somemore.
In the end, we talked more than we studied.
Tuition is more like a social area instead of revising.
Crazy!!!
Hitler all come out.
Suddenly talk about Venice lah, longshore drift lah.
Haha.

Remember guys! Next week our very last lesson!
Wear nice2 and take pics kay!

Hahaha kay thats all.

BOO is a busybody!

2009-10-22T23:00:00.004+08:00

ALLAH knows who's right and who's wrong, he knows who's to blame and who's not.

With all that said, I'm not afraid to live life to the fullest, because I don't insult to the extreme and I just be patient.

So we'll see ehh.

He says he's free.

Right now I know he's waiting to see me suffer.

Cruel sia.

I didn't say any more because I still remembered we were friends.

He asked me before, " Do you think we're better off as friends or in a relationship?"

I said, "Anything that won't affect our friendship."

What now?

Haish...

How can someone be so cruel???

Boo me some more.

I know la you were not even sad its over.

I know you're happy.

You know I'm not.

So why don't you just leave me alone you effin' cocky S-hole!!!

O lvls, Heartbreaks.

2009-10-22T20:53:00.004+08:00

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

HAISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH.

O level so damn hard man!!!
Why must practical kill me all the time???

Actually before the exam, I was sad again!!!
I just can't get those cruel words out of my head.
Its killing me you know.

But then, my undiscovered, unaware and unforgotten HERO came by.
Just the sight of him can make me go ULALA~
It made me so motivated to do well.

Then Atiqah Cine pun baik sangat2.
Maybe she noticed me at the front all lonely so she suddenly hugged me from the back.
She's nice eh.
Nice, pretty and smart some more.
Definitely not boring as me I'll bet.
She consoled me when I was sad, and cheered me up.
So caring. Thanks eh Atiqah!!!
Really appreciate her help.
Wah maybe she can be my new idol.
Haha. (:

Hmmmm.

I have this song... Tak abes2 ehk, tapi best luh to express my feelings through songs.
If only I can say to him, "Hey, this song is dedicated to you. Try understand me."
If only that was even possible without him laughing at me as his ego rises sky high...
Ego, why does it exist?
Ego, its just plain sickening.
I have an ego too, but not that much. Lol.

Kk on with the song for today.
Here is................................ "Kisah Tak Sempurna" by Samsons!!!

aku memang tak berhati besar
utk memahami hatimu di sana
aku memang tak berlapang dada
utk menyedari
kau bukan milikku lagi
dengar-dengar kataku
aku akan bertahan
sampai kapan pun
sampai kapan pun

maafkan aku
yang tak sempurna 'tuk dirimu
usahilah sudah
kisah yg tak sempurna
utk kita kenang

andai aku dapat merelakan
setiap kepingan ukiran kenangan indah
andai aku sanggup menjalani
setiap detik dan waktu mendatang dan

oo dengar-dengar kataku
aku akan bertahan sampai kapan pun
sampai kapan pun
maafkan aku
yang tak sempurna 'tuk dirimu
usahilah sudah
kisah yg tak sempurna utk kita kenang

dengar-dengar kataku aku akan bertahan
sampai kapan pun
sampai kapan pun
maafkan aku yang tak sempurna
'tuk dirimu
usahilah sudah
kisah yg tak sempurna utk kita kenang
kisah yang tak sempurna untuk kita kenang

Haha korang mesti meluat ehh, tak habis2 pasal orang sama.
Well, cintaku bertahan lama.
Will get over is ASAP.
But hey, its my blog so whatever.
Tata.

Hahahahaha Some People Will Always Be A Child!

2009-10-21T16:37:00.003+08:00

You know what?
Some people just can't accept the things that go by them.
To make them feel better?
What do they do?
Yes, true true, they bring other people down.
Then they pretend to act caring and full of concern.
Ahhhh!!! BuSeK!!!

Never listen to these kind of people lah.
Just a few days ago, in fact just a few hours ago, I listened to what they said and I was practically demoralised physically and emotionally and psychologically!

Kalao tak happy tak payah lah "BOO" sane "BOO" sini!
Dah buat gitu, beh tanye apesal orang nangis.
Eh orang pandai eh gunekan COMMON SENSE.

Tapi takpe, aku tak benci kau sepenuhnye eh, pasal aku kenangkan mase lalu mase kau belom berubah.
Memang ah, sekarang perangai macam BUSEK.
Kalao org laen dari dulu eh dah belah.
Tapi aku penyabar.
Tak sia2 aku graduate dari kelas 6-4 (Patience) ehh time P6.
So ye ehh, no matter what, kenangan as kawan, aku tetap simpan.
Sebagai bende laen, semue aku dah bakar.

Anyway, good news, I got two trophies for English and Combined Humans (Geography).
I was lucky thats all.
So don't be afraid by me, you guys confirm can win me in O level.
I don't care, 'cause I want to pass, not to win.
So there's no need to BOO me here and there.

Take care yaww!

Two Is Better Than One

2009-10-20T21:09:00.002+08:00

Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls Ft. Taylor Swift

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

'Cause maybe it's true,
that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time,
to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two,
is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes,
the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, we're leaving
And maybe it's true,
that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one

There's so much time,
to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two,
is better than one
Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
Maybe it's true,
that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one

There's so much time,
to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
Oooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one

There's so much time,
to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one

Yesterday and Today.

2009-10-20T20:11:00.007+08:00

Hellooooo.

Hmm I updated just now but just some lyrics and my pitiful feelings.

Anyway, I went to JP and the park opposite it yesterday.
I did all that to clear my mind from something painful.
I went with dearest Shiqah and Kiki.

You know what, friends are just incredible people in your lives.

They are always there to cheer you up when you're feeling down.

They are always there to help bring your hopes up.

They are the ones who help clear the dark clouds hovering in your minds and hearts.

Their love is unconditional.

You don't feel neglected when they're away.

You don't have to argue over misunderstandings.

You don't have to be afraid they will leave you.

You don't have to worry they'd run away.

They are always by your side when you need them, through thick and thin.

Never change your friendship to something more, unless you're sure its true love, because you can lose all that in just a day, in just hours or minutes, even seconds.

Trust me, I've been through all that.

You could say I regretted it, but I can't say fully.

I can never forget sweet memories.

Its a sweet remembrance, minus the unhappy ending.

A quote my besties sent me,

"Never be sad for what is over, just be glad it was once yours."

This happened to me twice.

I lost a best friend, make that two.

I guess I make a good friend, but a terrible girlfriend.

So boys, IF by any chance you've fallen for me, THINK AGAIN.

I'm not the great girl you thought I am.

What you have for me is not love, but mere infatuation.

I'm not the one.

Never make me your girlfriend, unless you don't mind having a boring girl who just wants to be loved.

Unless you promise not to lie and to make me your number one top priority.

You can be a poor guy, you can be a gangster, you can smoke all you want, you can drink till you faint, you can play as much soccer as you like, but remember have time for me.

I don't need your money or gifts, but just your love.

LOL. I am like telling that I'm desperate, but I'm not okay.

I am giving you guys warning before you hurt me.

This happened twice!

I don't want a third time heartbreak.

I just don't want you guys to think I'm the one when I'm not.

Haishhh.

Haiya I am supposed to tell about JP right!

I took pictures with Shiqah and Kiki.

I threw away that keychain.

That precious keychain I had to take the MRT from west to all the way east.

Such a waste of time and money.

But that's not the point.

These two don't matter to me.

Its just the memories are now somewhere at the park covered by tall grass.

After that, Aul and Nazif came by.

Yes, Aul gave lectures about O level.

Relationship?

He said to use the time chasing boys to flip through maths.

He really cheered me up.

Umm but on the way home, I cried, again.

Today didn't go to school.

Studied with GB in the morning.

Then studied with Namira in the afternoon.

These again are friends that motivated me to move on.

When on the way to meet GB, I cried AGAIN!

Oh gosh.

I was listening to the song, Breathe-Taylor Swift.

I cried.

It was a good song that I can relate to right now.

By the way, Nami, I love Travis!

He is sooo adorable!

I've been listening to songs and singing!!!

It cheered me up.

Hahahaha!

I wanted to go to school, but seriously, I have NO MOOD.

Maybe yeah, I am too sad to face the music.

Haiya!!! Be strong Ina!!!

At least I studied.

You know what!!!

Even when I didn't complete my geography mock paper, I managed to score 42/50.

Wow cool shit man!!!

Hope I'm as lucky as this for Os.

K tata!!!

Tell Me Why.

2009-10-20T13:11:00.002+08:00

Tell Me Why - Taylor Swift

I took a chance,
I took a shot
And you might think I'm bulletproof,
but I'm not
You took a swing,
I took it hard
And down here from the ground
I see who you are
I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you love me
then you cut me down
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
And here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why..

You could write a book on
how to ruin someone's perfect day
Well I get so confused and frustrated
Forget what i'm trying to say,oh

I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I got no one to believe in
You tell me that you want me,
then push me around
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why..

Why..do you have to make me feel small
So you can feel whole inside
Why..do you have to put down my dreams
So you're the only thing on my mind

I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you want me
then cut me down
I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I've got no one to believe in
You ask me for my love
then you push me around

Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why

Why,
tell me why
I take a step back,
let you go
I told you I'm not bulletproof
Now you know

Taylor Swift always has a song to describe what I'm feeling inside.
Hooray to her!
My fave singer of all!

What Hurts The Most?

2009-10-20T12:55:00.002+08:00

Kenapope kutokoke-kutokoke?

Whyoe insultote?

Justote tellole memome thatote youoe don't lovevove memome anymorore.

That is enoughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
That is equivalent to ripping out my heart and let a truck run over it.

No insults required.
Hurting me is simple, for you.

Haishhhhhhhh.

Breathe.

2009-10-20T12:45:00.002+08:00

I'm in despair.
I'm depressed.
But I can't do anything about it.
I had it coming.

This song best describes my feelings...
Breathe - Taylor Swift

I see your face in my mind as I drive away,
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.
People are people,
And sometimes we change our minds.
But its killing me to see you go after all this time.
Mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
Music starts playin like the end of a sad movie,
Its the kinda ending you dont really wanna see.
Cause its tragedy and it'll only bring you down,
Now I don't know what to be without you around.
And we know its never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break,
no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I cant,Breathe,
Without you,But I have to,
Breathe,Without you,But I have to.

Never wanted this,
never wanna see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
But people are people,
And sometimes it doesnt work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.
And we know its never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break,
no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I can't,Breathe,
Without you,But I have to,
Breathe,Without you,But I have to.

Its two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know its not easy,
Easy for me.
Its two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know this aint easy,
Easy for me.
And we know its never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break,
no one here to save me.

Ohhh I cant,Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,Breathe,
Without you,But I have to.

Sorry (oh) Sorry (mmm)Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)Sorry

HARI RAYA!

2009-10-12T18:53:00.004+08:00

It was a joyous outing with my friends.

It is indeed memorable.

Thanks to my dear who followed.

I love my pictures with you and my friends.

Thanks to Shiqah for the pics.

Selamat Hari Raya! :D

You & Me. :)

2009-10-12T18:50:00.003+08:00

:)
The Sweetest Gift I Have Ever Gotten. :)

Pics I took From Others.

2009-10-12T18:46:00.000+08:00

Trios

Crazy

Kendarat Moments

Beloved Friends

4e6

Update from the outdated.

2009-10-12T17:40:00.003+08:00

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Radley! xD

Heyhey!!!

Oh gosh its been suc a long time since I've updated my blog that it is sooo outdated.
Goodness.

Anyway I have been extremely busy at school and going home late almost everyday and sleeping as soon as I reach home.
I try not to sleep but as soon as I lie down, my eyes starts to close and my senses shut. In just a few moments I was already asleep. I haven't finished my homeworks and I haven't been revising.
So... Let's just say I am soooo not prepared for O levels!

Still, I did okay for my prelims.
I failed science though.
Bio was such a killer!
44.5%. Omg. Just a few marks to pass. If only my MCQ was NOT 4/20, I could have at least gotten a C6.
Surprise surprise, I passed maths!
I hope I can maintain. My results tend to flunctuate.
English B3!!! First time in 2 years I got a B. I've been getting Cs. Improvement.
ALHAMDULLILAH.

So how hari raya?
Wah this year was better than the last.
I went out about thrice.
Plus, I get to raya with my sayang! Hmm, love him to bits and pieces sey.

There has been tons of ups and downs because I was such a pessimist, but now I will be more positive. So, yeah!
See a happyhappy me.

So I'll update soon.
Doakan the best for me for my O levels!
I want go SP or NP!!! :D

Ok then tatatata!

P.s; ily.

2009-08-23T09:06:00.003+08:00

'070809

♥ I love R.S! ♥

Last Week?

2009-07-07T23:33:00.003+08:00

I forgot what else happened from the day i missed. xD

Friday, chem was fun.
We had a mini chalet outside the classes.
Mingjian said, "Come come sit" as if it was his house when I came. xD
Si lelaki tu senyum2 tapi...
They offered me milo and a cup of water and even biscuits. xD
Funny la.
The substitue teacher was H-O-T HOT!!!
Girls, you would definitely be swooned by his charm and good looks.
Except he was abit gangsterlike to me.

Oh earlier Luqi,Nasri,Hazwan,Shiqa,Kiki and I kecoh!!!
Bibi's eyeliner we go use as face drawing thingy.
We all looked like cavemen with bushy eyebrows that linked from the face to the other side.
It was crazy!!!
The hot chem teacher said this when he saw that, "Good Lord! You guys do these kind of things in school?"

Saturday went for art.

While Sunday, I got new tuition la.
It was at Px's house.
Paisey you know.
Awkward sia.
Just us two.
But got through it.
Then jalan2 eat durian! xD

Monday went JP to shop!

7/7/09

2009-07-07T23:11:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday Rahman!!!

Happy Birthday Junyi!!!

Heyhey!
Today I was in a terribly horrible mood early in the morning and its all due to the traffic light.
So slow!
In front of my block there the cars were slow, and when the red light turned green, they moved like turtles!
We (my mum & I & Oddy) waited and waited until it was green, but when we were like the second car, it turned red again, and we had to wait, AGAIN!!!
So that was why I was terribly angry.
Sorry to the people who were scolded. xD

When we wanted to go for core lit, its kinda funny la.
I go say, "Kasilah aku opportunity untok pegang tangan banyak2 hari ni."
Which was weird if you were there.

First was core lit.
It was hilarious when the construction outside school started.
It made Ms. Sandra very irritated.
I actually realised that Syazrul was sitting in front of me only after 2 periods passed.
I saw him la, but thought nothing of it.
Then I was daydreaming for a while and was thinking of Boys Over Flowers.
Then I looked at Syazrul's head and I realised, hey, he came back from being quarantined! xD

Recess!
Bought water and food.
Sat down.
Saw Rahman, what a poor thing.
Birthday boy dudok keseorangan.
He was sitting alone. Tsktsktsk.
He came to our seat.
Talktalktalk.
I went to class to do math.
Then math.

Then what ah???
I think it was chemistry.
Fun la.
Learn about Alkenes.
The formula is, CnH2n.
For Alkanes, CnH2n+2.
Ehhh? Agaknye la.

Pe!
Someone said Mdm Rohimah never come, then I kecoh2.
Mdm Rohimah said something if I scold people takkan jalan.
Then she called me makcik since I was talking too much.
Then end.

Ohhh now I recall.
It was chem after Pe.
It was mother tongue after that.
Chem Mrs Hong made Rahman in charge of carrying the papers to put in her pigeon hole.
Rahman came next to me and said he took another one of Mrs Hong's marker.
He really love to do that. xD
Then he asked me to take the paper for him.
Since it was his birthday, I gave in la.
Sape tu kat tangge? Hmmmmmm!

Shira went up the stairs with Rahman.
Macam dekat je! Haha. xD
Then aku ni suke mengacau so...

Saienah: Eh kau jangan jalan seblah die dekat2 ah aku jealous tau!
Rahman: Oh (ape entah) *walked beside me*
Saienah: Hehe.
Shira: Mentel!
Saienah: :P

Mother tongue aku kecoh.
Told Cikgu pasal oral. xD
Hilmi walked passed and shout Rahman's name then I said, "Beh aku aku!"
Hilmi, "Saienah~!" in a crazy way.
xD
Kecoh luh MT.
Kiki and Shiqa asek gado je kat blakang.
Kekek uh. xD

Then go jp. Eat.
Did art.
TIRED!
Went home!
Pray.
Go gekpoh.
Saw Shira giving Rahman cake.
Go kfc.
Go pioneer mall.
Go home. :D

Peterpan - Ku Katakan Dengan Indah

2009-06-30T23:08:00.001+08:00

kukatakan dengan indah
dengan terbuka
hatiku hampa
sepertinya luka menghampirinya
kau beri rasa yg berbeda
mungkin kusalah
mengartikannya
yang kurasa cinta
* tetapi hatiku
selalu meninggikanmu
terlalu meninggikanmu
selalu meninggikanmu
** kau hancurkan hatiku
hancurkan lagi
kau hancurkan hatiku
tuk melihatmu
kau terangi jiwaku
kau redupkan lagih
kau hancurkan hatiku
tuk melihatmu
back to * membuatku terjatuh
dan terjatuh lagi
** membuatku merasakan
yang tlah terjadi
semua yang terbaik
dan terlewati
semua yang terhenti
tanpa kuakhiri

Alahai, lagu ini sangat bermakna bagiku. xD

Tuesday!

2009-06-30T22:56:00.003+08:00

Aduh eke stress banget!!!
Friday eke punye O level MT oral.
Eke takut banget!
Doakan eke yea kalian.

Hari ini sungguh memenatkan.
Recess hari ini siang sikit, tak, banyaklah punye siang.
Dari 1110 jadi 910.
Best seyyyy!!!
Alahai, sedang recess, ade saje orang tu.
Satu-satunye orang yang tidak ingin saye lihat.
Die dudok belakang saye!
Sayangnye, mase saye sudah terbuang bersamenye.
Keluar dengannye, nelefon dengannye, top up beribu-ribu kali karna mahu sms dengannye.
Semua itu sekarang dah sia-sia sahaja.
Die benar-benar enggak tahu menghargaiku.

Ingat satu sajelah; HACKS.

Hari ini bored gile lah lessons.
Nothing fun.
Takde pergaduhan hari ini.
Peaceful sahaje.

Oh ya ade tuition tadi.
Bibi bought for me Cinnamon melts.
Yummy!!!
During break, kite makan.
KarthikDolphin looked different.
I think Ming Jian became friendlier.
My maths is getting worse despite tuition. -_-!

You didn't even turn around,

you didn't even smile,

you didn't even say goodbye.

GUOBIN's comeback. xDDD

That is all. Itu sajelah. :D

First Day Of School.

2009-06-29T18:49:00.003+08:00

June holidays finally ended. Though holidays felt so short, as if like a breeze.
When I arrived at school and walked passed my class, Eka came out and we screamed and screamed because we missed each other so much. Then Wani came out and we screamed again. Hahaha. Then I said, "Let's hold hands!" and we walked together holding hands. Weird, but... Well. xD

In class, I came in and when I saw Rahman, memories of last week flashed back through our minds. He looked at me as if making fun of me and tersenge-senge. xD Even though Ms Syikin kept reminding us, I still forgot to bring my thermometer. Actually I prepared it but I forgot to bring my pencil box where my thermometer was in. I had to buy a pencil, eraser and a pen. We learned how to wash our hands properly today. Ms Syikin showed us the video and heck, it took the person to wash his hands for like, 2 minutes. Actually, its a waste of precious water resource, so remember to turn off the tap while lathering your hand with soap for 2 whole minutes. :D While watching the video, the screen got some cartoon characters. I named some of the Karthik, Yixian, Shobah, Rahman and Kiki. Lol. It was random uh. Then one character that looks like a malay guy had a bubble saying, *spitting*.

Saienah: Eh Rahman spit!
Ms Syikin: Rahman don't spit.
Rahman: I didn't spit, Saienah say one.
Saienah: Hehe?
Ms Syikin: Yeah Saienah say, anyway don't spit.
Rahman: *Points at me* You watch out later.
Saienah: xD

Next was chemistry. Rahman, Leon and don't know who else had to sit at the back of the class and face the wall because they didn't do homework. Baik. Rahman from the back saw under my table and saw Wawa crackers. He yeld from the back to ask me for one. Lol. Then he went back to his seat and thanked me.

Rahman: Wawa.
Saienah: *Looks around as if heard something*
Rahman: Eh thanks. *Shows Wawa*
Saienah: Oh welcome!
Rahman: *something*
Saienah: *Didn't hear* Huh, what?
Rahman: Love you.
Saienah: Ahhh. *ade-ade je Rahman*

Chem was fun lah. My fave subject. Trying to improve lah. But still, I'm not good enough.
Combined Humans was fine, as usual.
Lit was okay, but I fell asleep halfway! -_-!

You guys know!!! The shop sell new kinds of donuts!!!
Now they're much bigger and much worth my money. xD
After recess, I went in class with my donut.
Since the donut is so big, I finished it rather slow.
When I came in class... (Eng. version)

Saienah: *eating donut*
Rahman: Saienah, eat only eh. From just now.
Saienah: What! From just now I only eat this lah.
Rahman: Eh? You didn't eat rice?
Saienah: No lah.
Rahman: Why?
Saienah: Ever since you called me fat I decided not to eat.
Rahman: Eh I kidding only.

LOL. Funny moments.

Finally, my art was accepted and I was able to draw on the board.
I received help from Insyirah.
Thanks Insyirah!

Went home, watched Hantu Jatuh Cinta.
This show can make me mad but its kinda interesting and romantic. Hehehehe.

Okay lah that is all.
Nak antar my adik silat.
Tata! :D

Malay Dance Farewell For Graduating Seniors.

2009-06-27T21:34:00.003+08:00

Today was our malay dance farewell (party) for graduating seniors.
I was supposed to meet Shazana at 8:30am because she wanted to take a sleeping bag from Kiki.
However, my dear Shazana took the wrong bus (98) and got lost, so she arrived around 9+am, which was just nice because Diana and I just took the sleeping bag from Kiki.

First, we did some exercises and then went to Kallang (something) for rehearsal.
I wasn't performing although I was part of SYF because I didn't attend practices.
Kinda regretted, because I had the chance to perform but I lost that opportunity just like that.
This was my last chance to experience something like this because I know if I ever leave BLSS to enter poly (if possible), I will never take malay dance as my cca.
I want drama because its been something I loved to do for years.
Still, malay dance has grown on me.
I value the people and the cca. (:

Finally, I got things straightened out with H (sorry, I don't know if I should just mention your name like that so I didn't, I'll feel bad, and her friends who are reading will know what this is all about).
Honestly, all these while I did realise we were not how we used to be during year 2007, where we always laughed endlessly for no good reason.
I found you to be so adorable and nice, and you were my favourite junior at that time.
Even my friends said you were a very pretty girl and I totally agreed.
Honest, I'm not trying to be so complimentary, but this is honesty.
I did notice the aura filled with hatred, but I didn't have courage to say anything.
Today, we finally had the talk which settled the silent hatred burning in our hearts.
Yes, the secret's out.
I did like him before, but I was over it, and I usually talked to him as friends only.
I felt terrible then, because I was like ruining something you had.
I always thought the song, "Di antara kalian" was meant for this problem.
I hope you and other people understand that sometimes we make mistakes which are obvious, and no matter how much we try to prevent all of it from happening, knowing that what we are doing is wrong and we should stop, we just can't.
I'm sosososososososososososososososososososososo SORRY!!!
I reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally am sorry.
I feel so remorseful.
I tried to retain myself and stop contacting that person, but at that time, I didn't want to lose the friendship, but at the same time I didn't realise I was losing your friendship. ):
I should have more self-control to back off, but honestly, every conversation that was started wasn't started with me.
Words can't describe the regret and pain in my heart for you.
If you hated me, I perfectly understand because if I were you, I would hate me soooo much.
In fact, I hated myself because I didn't do the right thing.
I can keep going on and on about this because I really feel terrible.
I'm glad you forgave me!!!
I'm so happy!!!
Actually before leaving BLSS I planned to apologise to you, but I'm glad it happened this way because you understood me and I understood you.
Thanks for understanding the position I was in.
Now we know we made a huge mistake because we let boys get in the way of girls' friendship.
This is a lesson I will take with me for the rest of my life : Never Let Boys Get In Between You and Your Girls, Because Friendship Is Worth A Lot More Than Silly Crushes.
Hey Ladies! Listen to this song, "Hey Ladies" by Rossa.
Its about boys and how they can't be trusted, but not all boys, however we still need to be careful.
Ok enough.

We played games and ate pizza.
Nice and fun!

After that us seniors gave our farewell speech.
First, our previous previous vice-chairman, Hidayah gave her farewell speech, followed by Daniaty.
Next was our recent chairman, Yasniza and then it was my turn.
I prepared the speech already so I was kinda prepared.
This was what I had in my hp's draft created rather last-minute, but was improvised along the way.
Saienah: First of all, I would like to apologise to you all because every practice I would delay you all because I always did the wrong thing.
Saienah: Wait ah. *check hp* Ah...
Saienah: Actually I didn't want to join malay dance because I sucked at it. I used to not come to practices. Now I regretted it because over the years I learned to appreciate this cca but it was too late. I worked harder but I'm still not that good, although got improve, abit, but still not good. My advice for sec 1s; even if you are not good now, just go to every practice because you might improve along the way.
Then I thanked Khalisah, Daniaty, Diana, Hidayah, Shazana, Afifah, Hafizah, Sasha and Shiqin for always being there and giving me support and said thanks.
I wanted to mention Ida but I was just nervous.
Sorry!
Honestly, I was almost crying and when I saw Shazana cried, I also cried.
Was my speech that touching? Hehehe!

Anyway, next was Shazana where alot of people cried too!
Then Diana, we cried too.
Then Atai, Mai and Aziziah where we cried too.
Needless to say, we cried all the way. -_-!

Once again, we apologised again to each other and hugged each other.
Overall, today was a great day to let out my feelings and to end all kinds of hatred we had for one another.
Please, don't hate me people.
I am just another human being who make mistakes, but along the way I learn from it.
I may not be likeable.
I may be loud and nerdy.
I lack knowledge, but I can slowly learn.
What I need is acknowledgement.
As BLSS students, let's Love and Forgive. :D

Went home with Hidayah and went Gek Poh to buy bubble tea.

So that was all. :DDD

New Interest

2009-06-26T23:55:00.003+08:00

Hey people.
Now I'm now interested in a dance.
I like to dance at home.
Hahaha.
But I won't let others see.
Others must not see!
Hahahaha.
I'm such a pathetic dancer already,
so my interest remains a secret.

I have a speech for my peeps.
I miss my juniors - Khalisah, Ashiqin, Hafizah and Sasha.
I miss my bestie Shazana, Wann, Eka, Shiqa, Kiki!
I miss them!!! :D

& I miss that secret guy crush of mine!
Although I just saw him today.
Haha!
What to do, love and like take its toll on you.

Take care. (:

FRIDAY!

2009-06-26T23:30:00.003+08:00

Omg omg omg!

I went to watch Transformers:Revenge of the fallen today!
It was awesome!!!
I went with Kat,Faz and Shiqa.
Gerek lah seh!
First we went to eat at banquet.
I bought spicy seafood ramen. Only that I found out it tastes like Tom Yam. I thought it was something different. Oh well...
BIG BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want the poster and umbrella!
But the poster costs $29.90 lah siol!
Sooo expensive seh.

Chemistry rocks every time.
I really admire Mr. Guo Wei.
He's nice, smart and absolutely humorous.
I think he's an amazing person.
He helped me in many ways.
He even gave us his email and number.
Before Os, I'll definitely contact him.
Hey Pinxuan, Ming Jian, Karthik, Bibi, Huiling, Gerald and Harris, let's conference one day, all about chem! Hehe!
Anyway, I really value this chem class and its people.
I feel so lucky to have met everyone there.
I cannot imagine if I had never went there.
One day, I really hope we can have a class outing together, and take manymany pictures for memories. (:
I want to keep in touch even after we leave that place.

To the person I absolutely adore (although its a secret) ;
Every time I see you,
I feel so happy.
My heart flutters
and I smile widely.
Although we are not
what we used to be,
I can never forget
the first time
I met you.
The first time
I liked you.
A crush remains a crush,
but I'm glad this feeling
is for you
and only you.
Although your feelings
have faded,
mine is still going on
and going on strong.
I love to see your face.
You are one of a kind. (:

To the person I used to cherish but will always miss;
I can never forget
the way you smile.
I can never erase
the picture of your eyes.
So warm and child-like,
filled with joyous laughter.
Alas you weren't meant
to share that happiness
with me.
I am nothing to you,
although once we were best friends.
But now
I know I'm nothing.
I can only wish
for your happiness. (:

To the person I look from afar and up;
I loved the way
you treated me.
I liked the way
you talked to me.
I still kept the warm smell
of tangerine gift
that you gave me.
I will always value you as a friend,
although nothing more.
A good friend you are,
I'll value. (:

K that is all for today. <3!

Was it Thursday? (:

2009-06-26T01:20:00.005+08:00

I went to school with this friend of mine. It was raining! Darn. My umbrella was small so I got wet since we had to share.

When we reached school, I saw Kiki and Hazwan and they were kinda shocked and kinda disturbed me. I had to take temperature which was wasting precious time. Went to class and started combined humanities remedial. Halfway, we had break and Shiqah, Shira, Nasri and I went out to Mama shop to buy EPOK-EPOK! The epok-epok outside school is THE best ones. Delicious, Oishii!!!

After remedials, went to lepak with Kiki, Shiqah, Hazwan, Shikin and Rahman. It was fun lah. However, almost every second I had an argument with Rahman. He first told me not to follow them and when I said no, he said he push me into the puddle (happened to be one nearby) then I know. Blah3, then he said if I fall into the puddle, there will definitely be a huge splash because I am like an elephant's kid. Sh*t! Just because I'm fat he made me like this. Then my hair got something, he said something like only the exterior and view of my hair is nice, but inside is horrible. Then fight3! All the way he called me fat. Then after we bought things from 7-11, we sat under one sheltered place. Then he like funny, so I kinda looked at him and giggled on my own. Then Hazwan asked, "Asal kau tengok2 die ketawe sendiri?" which means why you look at him and smile2, with this strange, teasing voice. I was like, what?! No! Then Rahman also purposely looked at me and made me feel discomfort. Then they all disturbed me and said, "What if Mann likes you?" and "What if you guys end up together in the end because you guys always fight?"
Saienah: No way lah, impossible, nobody likes me one.
Rahman: Eh, I like you,
Saienah: Yeah right.

Suddenly we talked about virgins and one would be better off being one. Then talk about relationships.
Something was going on and then...
Saienah: *something*
Rahman: Eh, wanna try pe? Be my girlfriend...
Saienah: Eee don't want ah. If be your girlfriend confirm suffer one. You will look at other girls. And you will insult me non-stop.
Rahman: *the look*
Saienah: Confirm he will say, "If you don't slim down, I don't want to go out with you ah. You must slim down first!"
Rahman: I won't say that to my girlfriend lah.

More fighting and insults. Shiqah was trying to reach the ceiling, and succeeded. They told me to try. Unfortunately I failed as I was darn short. I was afraid of falling and Kiki told me to stretch.
Saienah: I'm afraid of heights lah.
Kiki: Its nothing lah, just stretch.
Saienah: If I fall down how?
Someone: Nvm Rahman will catch you.
Bla3...
Saienah: I think I'm bigger (something like that) ........
Rahman: Its okay lah, then later you will carry me. You strong what.
Saienah: Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *stress*

We played a game, like when we say someone's name, you must give a thought or impression of him/her in just 1 word. When it was my turn...
Kiki: Saienah.
Rahman: Short!
Saienah: Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (once again)

Kiki: Rahman.
Saienah: Insulter!!!!!!!!!!! :DDD

I did art. Kena lecture lecture LECTURE by Mr. Rahim. -_-!
I dunno lah. Is my art that terrible? I think its okay! Others think so too! Some are worse than me but they can continue on and start on the board. But mine is average, better so why still rejected?! Then he tried to do some stunt to scare me like "Whoa!". Everyone was like WTH? He said I laughed funny and immitated me saying, "Wakaka!". Then he lecture3 me and when I went off, he called me over again!!!
M.Rahim: Saienah, your art was one of the best last year, why now you so slow? What happened? You got boyfriend riiiiight?
Saienah: What th-... I don't have boyfriend...
M.Rahim (interrupts): I've seen alot of students. If they got relationships, they will lose focus... (after many2 minutes)
M.Rahim: In the end, the boys will marry someone else and the girl end up lonely. Why? Because boys will think, "Eee she used to be his, she is tainted."
Saienah: But I don't have a boyfriend! Really!
M.Rahim: Yea I'm just telling you....... (Continued for a very3 long time)

Aiyo. Seriously lah, stress you know. I have a feeling this guy despises me sooooo much. Every time comment me and he even taught me about my religion. Hello, I got go for madrasah for 6+2 years, I know that much which is sufficient for me right now.

After that went home with Shira, Atiqah, Sheela and Leon.
Went to Mama shop again. Bought Wawa!!! Gave them all one.
Shira and I saw someone and burst out laughing like mad women. Seriously, if you all were there, you would have laughed and laughed and laughed.....
Then Shira saw her again, but her mouth was full and she mumbled2. I was the only one who understood her muffled cries as we burst into another fit ot laughters. HAHA! When we saw the bus, we were both eating. -_-!
So we both mumbled and our muffled cries were once again not gotten by the others. -_-

i miss you boy.
where did you go?
don't you miss me?
i still save your messages.
i still remember your calls.
i still recall our dates.
i still think of the places we used to go.
i still hear your voice.
i still feel your hands in mind.
i still love you.
even though i pretend that i'm over it.
guess what?
i ain't over it.
i still miss you.

This is just a random poem! :D

Hey!

2009-06-24T00:40:00.003+08:00

Heyhey!

I went to Melaka on sunday and monday.
People keep saying that I should be quarantined. I missed maths and art.
Heck, I should be missing geo, lit and art, but as a good student, I'm going.
I'm not sick right? Heeee! Anyways, we went to emperor hotel. -_-!
I went swimming. Lucky I wasn't tanned. Strangely though. I'm saving my skin.
Bought few stuffs, which wasn't enough for me. Haish! What to do.

So, today I only went out for tuition.
It was sooo cold in there. I could hear Karthik shivering all the way. Haha!
I was supposed to bring bananas, but I didn't. So watch out. This friday I'm bringing.

I forgot to bring my calculator and I borrowed Pinxuan's. First, he created a suspense.
Saienah: Hey can lend me your calculator?
Pinxuan: No.
Saienah: Hahhhh.
Pinxuan: Can(I think?) *hands over calculator*

Funny thing, Pinxuan brought graph papers. A whole stack of it. So we had to do a graph question. He passed around the paper, but it was short of one. I was the last one holding on to 2, so I guessed it was wise to hand them to the girls in front since there were 2 of them. So I asked him for one more.
Saienah: Umm actually need one more.
Pinxuan: Oh paisey.
Saienah: Nvm.
Mr Wong: Wah, why you say paisey?
Wah this is an example of a good person(I think?)
You should find someone like him.
Good-looking somemore. Very nice boy.
Saienah: Huh, why?
Mr Wong: He's the one giving papers but he say paisey.

LOLLLLLLL! Okay, I admit that I find him admirable. Hee! xDDD
So good uh. Mr Wong praise him like that. Haha.
I should bring graph papers next time. Haha.

Right! So thats the end of today's post! Toodles!

Flashback

2009-06-17T22:24:00.003+08:00

Hey Guys!

I wanna share my life. Lol.
Kk.

You know, there was a time where I liked this guy. However, he went on with someone else although he said he liked me too. I was like, ok fine, because it was a minor crush and nothing more. In fact, I was infatuated with other people many times but it was merely youths' habits. You're a girl with a weak heart and you're young, so you made lots of mistakes. Anyway, I was instantly over him. However, he came back. Every time. Although he was still with that girl. Then when they were done, he like just came to me. I was dumb enough to go on with it. Actually I disliked him at first and ignored him because I felt bad. I don't want people to hate me and label me as a bitch. It was such a waste of precious time and caused alot of good friendships to be ruined. Lol. Worse part was, it was during midyear. Bastard. Yeah! Now I'm over it. Anyway, found out that he was a sweettalker and that was why I fell into his trap. Haha. Guess what, my results sucked. It was so terribly disgusting that I gave up studying. I hate it!

A Good Start

2009-06-17T22:05:00.003+08:00

Heeeeey!

I'm loving my holidays. I'm enjoying like heeelllllllllllllllllllllll.
However, my heart feels so heavy because I have lots of family problems and now I haven't started studying sia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you people have any idea how worried I am??? I'm more stupider each day.

Now I'm at my sis' house as she is married and has her own home.
Still, I left my house without saying anything yet my mum doesn't even care.
Talk about no life, I have no love.
Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.s; I have a crush on somebody!!!! ;P

Goodbye - Secondhand Serenade

2008-09-05T23:52:00.001+08:00

Lyrics to Goodbye :
It's a shame that it had to be this way
It's not enough to say I'm sorry
It's not enough to say I'm sorry

Maybe I'm to blame
Or maybe we're the same
But either way I can’t breathe
Either way I can’t breathe

All I had to say is goodbye
We're better off this way
We're better off this way

I'm alive but I’m losing all my drive
Cause everything were been through
And everything about you
Seemed to be a lie
A guiltless twisted lie
It made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by

All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way
All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way

And every, everything isn't only
What it seemed so hold these
Words that you never told me
Its time to say goodbye
Its time to say goodbye
Its time to say goodbye
Goodbye

Bye

Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

(And so on)

Stay Close, Don't Go - Secondhand Serenade

2008-09-05T23:45:00.000+08:00

Lyrics to Stay Close, Dont Go :
I'm staring at the glass in front of me,
is it half empty of our wins or have i ruined all you've given me?
I know I've been selfish,
I know I've been foolish,
but look through that
and you will see,
I'll do better, I know,
Baby, I can do better.

If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone,
don't tell me I will make it on my own,
don't leave me tonight,
this heart of stone will sing till it dies
if you leave me tonight.

Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping,
I listen to your breathing,
amazed how I somehow managed to
sweep you off your feet girl,
your perfect little feet girl
I took for granted what you do.
But I'll do better, I know
Baby, I can do better.

If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone,
don't tell me I will make it on my own,
don't leave me tonight,
this heart of stone will sing till it dies
if you leave me tonight.

And don't you know my heart is open, oh,
it's putting up the fight,
and I've got this feeling,
that everything's alright,
and don't you see,
I'm not the only one for you
but you're the only one for me.

If you leave me tonight I'll wake up alone,

(stay) If you leave me tonight,
(close) I'll wake up alone,
(don't) don't tell me I will
(go) make it on my own,
(stay) don't leave me tonight,
(close) this heart of stone
(don't) will sing till it dies
(go) nif you leave me tonight.
Don't leave me tonight

Like A Knife - Secondhand Serenade

2008-09-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

Lyrics to Like A Knife :
I did a lot, I know you say
I've got to get away.
"The world is not yours for the taking"
Is all you ever say.
I know I'm not the best for you,
But promise that you'll stay.
'Cause if I watch you go,
You'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasting away

'Cause today, you walked out of my life
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.

Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain
And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same.
These streets are filled with memories
Both good for detected pain
And all I wanna do is love you
But I'm the only one to blame.

'Cause today, you walked out of my life
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.

But what do I know, if you're leaving
All you did was stop the bleeding.
But these scars will stay forever,
These scars will stay forever
And these words have no meaning
If we cannot find the feeling
That we held on to together
Try your hardest to remember

Stay with me,
Or watch me bleed,
I need you just to breathe.

'Cause today, you walked out of my life
(stay with me, or watch me bleed)
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife
(i need you just to breathe.)
I'm not living this life

Tested & True - Secondhand Serenade

2008-09-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

Lyrics to Tested & True :
Superstitions aren't meant for lovers
Under covers, undiscovered is your skin
I am lonely, please let me in
You're probably wondering what I was proving
Are you choosing?
Am I losing you tonight?
Is it over, over?

Are we fading?

I never wanted anything the way that I want you
But my words don't seem to matter
My words don't seem to matter
And you look at me and I can see
The lies you're runing to
But my words don't seem to matter
I'd rather have you tested and true

Now you've had your chance
So let's try my way, it's my day
To show you what you're missing, turn around
And feel the winds of change upon your face again
The warm breath of your closest friend
I'm waiting, I'm waiting

Are we fading?

I never wanted anything the way that I want you
But my words don't seem to matter
My words don't seem to matter
And you look at me and I can see
The lies you're runing to
But my words don't seem to matter
I'd rather have you tested and true

I'm scared we'll fall apart tonight
Under the moonlight
Under the moonlight
I'm scared we'll never make it right
Under the moonlight
Under the moonlight
Take my hand and hold it tight
Hold it tight

I never wanted anything the way that I want you
But my words don't seem to matter
My words don't seem to matter
And you look at me and I can see
The lies you're runing to
But my words don't seem to matter
I'd rather have you tested and true

Suppose - Secondhand Serenade

2008-09-05T23:41:00.000+08:00

Lyrics to Suppose :
Suppose that I missed you
Suppose that I cared.
And suppose that I've spent all my nights running scared
And suppose that I was never there.

And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through
And I can't hold on to you.
So I guess I feel lonely, too.

Suppose we were happy,
Suppose it was true.
And suppose there were cold nights,
But we somehow made it through
And suppose that I'm nothing without you.

And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through
And I can't hold on to you.
So I guess I feel lonely, too.

Slow way down,
This break down's eating me alive.
And I'm tired, this fight is fighting to survive.

Tell me a secret, (I want it)
Tell me a story, (I need it)
I'll listen attentively,
I'll stay awake all night.
Allow me to whisper (so softly)
There's nothing I did mean (please help me)
But it's in my body
It's strong enough to fight (Let's make this right)
Please help me make this right.

Suppose that I was wrong,
Suppose you were here.
And suppose that I reached out and caught your tears
And suppose this fight just disappeared.

My eyes are screaming for the sight of you
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through
And I can't hold on to you.
So I guess I feel lonely, too

Maybe - Secondhand Serenade

2008-09-05T23:39:00.000+08:00

Lyrics to Maybe :
Didn't you want to hear
the sound of all the places we could go
Do you fear
the expressions on the faces we don't know
It's a cold hard road when you wake up
and I don't think that I
Have the strength to let you go

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

There goes my ring
It might as well have been shattered
and I'm here to sing
about the things that mattered
about the things that made us feel alive for oh so long
about the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

And someday, I promise I'll be gone
And someday, I might even sing this song
To you, I might even sing this song, to you
and I was crying alone tonight
and I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you
So just come back we'll make it better
So Just come back I'll make it
better than it ever was x2

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place
( I want it all, Don't leave right now)
(I'll give you everything)

A stressful, yet funny day...

2008-07-30T20:31:00.003+08:00

Today, PE was fun and funny!
Xinmin always kena hit by Sheila, Atiqah and my ball.
She said we were dangerous. -_-

Chemistry was stressful!
Because of chemistry, we had to go to recess 10 minutes later.

Chemistry remedial, gerek!
Cume stressful.
It was my first time taking a picture in chemistry lab.
Guobin's in it too.

So sad !

2008-07-30T20:23:00.002+08:00

I love somebody but now we're far apart.
I love someone who used to be by my side.
I love him who broke my heart.
I loved you who made me cried.

My Story. (:

2008-07-30T20:04:00.003+08:00

You know, there are always ups and downs in life. My life is going under.
I have a great story to share with my special people.
Read ;

When it was me and you

Water, that flows unsteadily at times, at times flow with rage, and at times flow peacefully. It flows without stopping. Like water, the flow of life is never the same. It is never steady. It is neither continuously happy, sad nor angry. It just changes. Like water, our lives is filled with ups and downs. Like water, she walks gracefully but lonely on the path of life. Despite all that, water, as of life, can always find a way to the open sea, mix around and be free.

Every day, I see that girl. She was neither fat nor thin. Neither was she ugly nor beautiful. She was neither tanned nor fair. Still, we all can see she was never happy but sad.

Every day, she would cry. If it was not openly, it would be deep down inside. Nobody knew how she felt. Nobody cared. I did not care either but now I do. I saw the possibility of changing. Changes from good to bad, or from bad to good. Changes will always arise one way or another, good or bad.

She was a happy girl, living an almost perfect life. A life surrounded by countless of friends whom she loved and whom loved her. However, it was all in the past. She just, changed.

Nobody, not even herself knew how, or even why she changed. Could this be the course of life? The need to change is inevitable. She was a confused girl. Call her selfish if you must, but she is just lonely and confused. All she wants is love. But why must they take it away? Why must they take it all away from her? Dear God, why does she feel that way? The most important thing is, why must they leave?

This was what she said, "I fell for you. I needed you. I wanted you. I wanted to stand by your side. I wanted to be the one to make you smile. I loved you."

No matter how much she wants to express these words to him, she never could. She knew that he was toying with her feelings. She knew the words he said were lies. She knew the attention he gave were false. She knew that he never loved her, not the way she did.

She was devastated. She sacrificed everything for him. Just for him. Just to see his smile. When he cried, she cried. When he laughed, she laughed. When he frowned, she frowned. Needless to say, she sacrificed her happiness for him. But what did he do? He hurt her. He silently killed her. He changed her.

All she wanted was to be his only one. He never thought of it that way. He wanted more.

That day, I saw her. Her lonesome self, shivering in the cold rain, drenched. All alone, unprotected in the rain.

He once promised, "If you are scared, I will hold you tight. If you are lonely, I will stand by your side. If your are cold, I will keep you warm all day till night."

Tears fell slowly down her pale cheeks, hidden by the falling rain. Sadly, she saw him. He was with another. He was sharing an umbrella with her, holding her to him, closely and tight. She cried, hard, on that fateful night.

She never got out of her wet clothes and just layed in bed. She never stopped crying ever since. She had a high fever the day after.

Early that morning, she woke up with a start. She had a dream, no, a nightmare. He left her. Wait, it was not a dream. It was all real. She started crying again. She could not take it anymore. She took a knife. She was reluctant to do it, but she knew she wanted to. She was living in hell. She wanted to just end it right away. She pierced the knife into her soft and fragile skin. Her life was slowly sucked away. She was dying. That was when her friends, yes, surprisingly, her friends came. And so did he. They were all frightened, shocked and speechless at the side of her losing her life in a pool of blood. Each of them started to cry and apologised. One of them called the ambulance, but it was too late.

The day before he hooked up with another, I looked into the mirror and asked myself, when can I change myself? When can I be me? When can I return to my true self, cheerful and carefree?

That was when it hit me, I could have changed. I could have moved on. But its too late now. My life is ending.

That was when he held me close in his arms. His warm tears fell on my cold and lifeless body. I was leaving. Still, I could hear his voice, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please, please don't leave me..."

Could he have realised my love for him?

I too realised, that I should not have given up.

At this very moment, when I cannot hear his voice, when I cannot see his face, when I cannot feel his touch, I will look back on yesterday and hold it close to my heart.

At my last seconds of life, I remembered what it was like to be me again.

I smiled to him, to everyone.
That was my final goodbye.

The End.

Author : Nur Saienah Md.
I am my inspiration of life.

2008-07-30T19:57:00.002+08:00

Hello!

Oh-my-gosh!
I finally got my own blog! It's all thanks to a good friend of mine, Shazana.

:D